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Author has written 127 posts for disabledfamilies

“You’re an adult now …”

I couldn’t remember the address. Deane and I stopped so I could check my phone for where we were going. As I looked up, I noticed we had stopped beside three very large, very tough looking guys who were standing in front of a male strip club. I decided to walk and dial. We walked … Continue reading

Growing up by appointment

“You are doing really well.” The words hung in the room. I wasn’t sure how to respond. It was a rather unexpected comment as the doctor was getting up to leave. It was the end of a three hour clinic visit – my son’s last clinic visit at the pediatric rehab hospital where he’s been … Continue reading

Dreaming of a dog

Deane loves dogs. He reaches over the edge of his wheelchair tray to pet any dog that walks by. He calls out to sit on the floor to try to snuggle up beside them. Years ago he became inconsolably upset after reading a Curious George book in which the monkey gets a dog. He wanted … Continue reading

Saying thanks

People don’t say “Thank you” enough. I don’t say thank you enough. Stopping to acknowledge something someone has done for you makes the world a kinder and better place, but in the face-in-a-screen, rush-around society we live in, we seem to have lost this. So I want to take this time to say a huge … Continue reading

Stranded on a desert island

“If you could do anything tomorrow, what would you do?” “Skiing,” said the mechanical voice of my son’s voice output program. “If you won the lottery, what would you buy?” Deane pressed “dog.” “If you were stranded on a desert island, what would you take?” “A guitar and drum. A TV (to watch Raptors’ games). … Continue reading

Looking into the future

It isn’t a conscious thing. It’s just become a habit, a form of protection against disappointment. Walking by displays for service agencies, the first thing I do is scan the pictures for people with walkers or wheelchairs. It is surprising how seldom the displays meet my criteria. I recently attended a forum put on by … Continue reading

Riding alone

It is very strange to be sitting here at 3:30. For 14 ½ years, 3:30 has been time to drop what I was doing and meet the school bus. Since my son was in preschool, he has taken a school-sanctioned bus twice a day and my day has been regulated by that bus. The arrival … Continue reading

Unexpectedly moved

I’m not a weeper. I rarely cry at movies. Kind, thoughtful actions don’t send my ducts into overdrive. I leave weddings dry-eyed. But, in the midst of a conference about science and cerebral palsy, I found tears leaking out under my glasses. I hadn’t heard a great medical break through, it was a song dedicated … Continue reading

It was worth it

There were tears at the beginning and tears at the end. But they couldn’t have been more different. When we left Deane at camp, the tears were stomach-churning, guilt-inducing don’t-leave-me tears. When we went to pick him up, the tears were a huge relief: He didn’t want camp to end. We had been told that … Continue reading

Sometimes it is good news

“Everything is fine,” began the message from our son’s camp. This is how calls from school always begin. School – and this time camp – assumes parents have a no-news-is-good-news approach. We certainly have been repeating this to ourselves and everyone else who has asked how our son was doing at his first overnight camp. … Continue reading