New Year’s – take 2

Deane, with his physio, showing off the results of all his hard work.

I’m celebrating my second New Year’s Eve in the hospital. Dec. 31, 2012, passed with barely a cheer. Tonight, we are anticipating the real beginning of our New Year – going home.

While New Year’s is about looking forward, it is also a time for reflecting on what has gone before. Here, on our second New Year’s Eve, are some of the things I learned during our 80-day journey from surgery to rehabilitation.

• While each family’s story is unique, it is comforting to be in a community which shares  common experiences.

• The relationship you had with your child coming in – good or bad – isn’t going to change just because everything else has.

• Not all health care professionals are pinnacles of warmth

• A concerned “How are you?” from a nurse can make your day.

• Not all parents are self-sacrificing and supportive caregivers.

• If you didn’t speak the language, this would be a terrifying experience.

• Even if you doubt the “softer” professions having a social worker who will listen without taking sides is a necessary sanity saver.

• While hospital food has become more varied, it’s still not good.

• Personality is as important as professional qualifications.

• Just because people are well meaning does not mean they are right.

• “You know your child best,” does not mean you get to make the decisions.

• Parents don’t always make the right decisions.

• Being reasonable and respectful – as hard as it may be – gets you further than anger and insults.

• There is a comradery of common existence that brings you together with people you might never otherwise encounter.

• Sharing details of your child’s experience for once makes you one of the crowd, not an outsider.

• This would be impossible without a support network to help keep you going.

Happy New Year everyone! Here’s to healthy 2013- take 2.